From Socrates to Arthur Montford, via Bovril, Buckfast and, of course, pies, this is a unique journey through the extraordinary world of Scottish football. Packed with anecdotes and observations, Andy Bollen wallows in a nostalgic haze, a time of hatchet-men with moustaches, a magic sponge that should have been granted miracle status and big-money strikers who couldn't hit a cow's posterior with a banjo. Opinionated, forthright and funny, Bollen reluctantly concedes that tattoos, hair weaves and VAR are now part of the game. This idiosyncratic ride through the wonderful absurdity of Scottish football will chime with every fan.